You know those home workout DVDs? The ones where a trainer or celebrity (usually one who’s popularity is on the wane) will show you a variety of exercises that apparently gave them their wonderful toned physique, even though it clearly took a lot more than few stretches to form that body?
Yeah, I don’t really think much of them. I’m even more skeptical of the Wii fit and the equivalent versions on the Kinect. Do they actually work? I know a lot of people buy them and clearly the people on the trailers look very happy and athletic but does exercising in front of the television actually benefit?
To me, it’s not worth it. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve dabbled in body improvement a few times over the years. I even went to the gym for a while. I’d have continued with that but going to college took priority. As did the Xbox and eating unhealthy foods. And I’ve got by. Only meeting Vanna has made exercising a necessity. But I’d rather be out doing things, cycling, playing football, anything over doing exercises in front of the television. There is never enough room, the carpet hurts my back and I inevitably crack my elbow against something. And if I was following a video I’d feel stupid. I’m not an old person, my younger self would say in refusal.
Well times have changed now. Vanna’s friend Meg went down three pant sizes (well done Meg!) after doing this ‘lose 30 pounds in 30 days’ DVD for 15 days. She hasn’t even done the second half of it yet! Hosted by some woman off The Biggest Loser US (a trainer, not a contestant), it has really helped her out.
So Vanna heard about this, saw the results and decided to buy it. And because my bike is out of action, walking seems so slow nowadays and I’m too lazy for any other sport, I’ve made the decision to do it with her. I’ll feel like an idiot but it wouldn’t hurt to try it. After all I want to lose weight. It’s only twenty minutes every day, with 3 minutes strength, 2 minutes abs and then one minute cardio repeated a few times. How hard could it be?
The answer: Very. Very bloody hard. I started fine, doing the exercises that I recognize from my brief stint of self-improvement. I didn’t have the proper weights but I was using ankle weights on my wrists so I was doing better than Vanna’s tin cans. It was pretty easy in the beginning as well. I was sweating but eh, it was fine. Except for the jumping jacks. Not because I couldn’t do them, but because whenever I jumped my hands were perilously close to the ceiling fan. I don’t suppose they meant you’d shed the pounds by losing your appendages so I was a little apprehensive doing anything standing up.
That was the least of my worries by the time we’d finished the first section. It was getting intense man. I was sweating buckets, the woman was shouting at me as if she knew I was thinking of quitting and I was starting to tire. It didn’t help that the two women behind her were doing the easy and hard versions of the exercise and I’d keep getting confused and doing a medley of the two. I was also hunching over too much because I was wary of how close my head was to being separated from my body. And my shorts were trapping my knees from full movement so lunges were difficult. And my foot cramped up halfway through.
I persisted though. I did everything more or less the correct way (probably would have helped to watch the full workout once before starting) except the cool down which I didn’t bother with. Who needs to stretch, right?
Thankfully it was over after that so I could collapse on the floor. I did better than Vanna though, which is something. And she didn’t have the height issues I had, nor had she made the poor clothing choices that I had, so I feel that is something of an achievement.
Now I can relax. Well until later today, when I do the whole thing again.