Now that I’ve finished with the Crosby Best Garden Awards (the best off the cuff idea ever, eh?) I can talk about all the irksome things that have bothered me the past week. Oh yes, it’s all well and good photographing all those lovely gardens for you lot but what about my life? What about the things that have affected me on a day-to-day basis? While you’ve been admiring Crosby’s gardens I’ve been going through some very serious issues. Did you know? No, of course not. I was too busy being selfless to burden you with my problems. Exactly. No more I tell, you no more. It’s time for me to speak out (for the first time) and share with the world (well a very very very small percentage of it) what’s on my mind.
Firstly, what’s up with this damned weather? It’s August, Minnesota. August. Last year you did things right. We had sun, no humidity and no mosquitoes. It was beautiful. Yeah, we had a few storms and you could argue it was too hot but it was bearable. We’re only 5 days into the month this time and we’re getting thunder that rocks the house (literally), lightning that stops me from sleeping (it is that bright) and more rain than we get at home!
Granted it’s nice to have some cool weather (even when it’s storming its hot) but now it is time to be consistent. I’m going in two weeks so I deserve some pleasant weather before I do. No more of this nonsense. Maybe it’s just Minnesota. Where’s the normalcy in this country? Surely there is somewhere where there are no earthquakes, storms, tornadoes, heavy winters or any other form of natural disaster? Someone please let me know.
Until then I think I’m just going to stick in England with our overcast days. There’s no tornado sirens in our neighborhood (they’d probably get vandalized), no siree.
The weather isn’t our only issue either. We’re finding more and more intruders in our house every week. I’m used to the occasional wasp (which are huge) or moth flitting about the place. Everybody has that problem. And if you don’t, well I’m very happy for you.
Anyway, this was the limit. Oh and the mutant crickets in the basement. But I was fine with it.
Then in June we had a bird in the house. Still not a big deal right? It acted a bit crazy, as you’d expect, but we got it outside without any pooping, damaged ornaments or disturbing memories of being attacked by a small bird. It’s a nice story to tell people, but we’ll leave it at that.
Then a few weeks we first had a tree frog in the bedroom (next to my head) and then a frickin’ bat flying around our heads. I must admit I was pretty useless in this situation; I just sat in bed while Vanna slowly army crawled around the house opening all the doors. I could have dealt with the tree frog though.
By this point I’m just getting fed up of it all. But surely this is the end. There can’t be any more. Can there?
Oh wait, another bat you say?
Super. Flying between the kitchen and our bedroom I just thought I was imagining it. But not, it was real.
Seriously? What is going on here? Where are all these damn bats coming from and why do they insist on flying around my head? It’s getting tiresome. I don’t sleep very well as it is, so this sudden interruption of flying rats is definitely not helping my situation.
What else do we have? Well Chelsea lost another preseason friendly (the first and probably only time I’d ever bother watching them, so clearly they are just doing it to spite me) and I’ve still not watched the Olympics opening ceremony. I have kept up with our performance though. GB is slowly picking up the medals. We’re getting there. We’re good at sitting down so if it involves cycling or rowing we usually get something. If only darts was included. Then we’d be competing with China for top place on the medal table.
There is some good news though. We’ve now got a vehicle! Of our own! I know! Its Vanna’s first ever car and by tomorrow it will be officially in her name. It’s old but you could call it luxurious. Well it’s got leather seats and electric windows. That’s enough for us.
Today we’ve spend most of this afternoon trying to fix it. It’s not perfect but it’s running pretty smoothly at the moment. For a total of $600 (including repair costs) we now have our own ride. Not too shabby at all. Furthermore we’re hoping to drive up to Duluth this Wednesday so I’m excited for that. No more mooching rides off other people either! Yeah!
Hmm. I suppose that’s all for today. Normal service has been resumed. I feel much better. Thanks everybody!