It is with great sadness that I make this announcement. At 0800 hours today (Friday the fourth of January 2013) our resident cat breached our garden defence facility and escaped into the nearby wilderness. Fortunately one of the cat’s guardians (my dad) spotted her bushy tail on the far side of the garden, and was able to recover the prisoner before she could get too far away.
This doesn’t, however, stop us from questioning how Prisoner X, otherwise known as Splat, was able to get through the impenetrable fortress that we created for her. We were not able to see where she escaped from, but we assume it was the original fence at the back of the garden (Our construction was not to blame). Although we had used rocks to block the biggest gaps, Splat must have managed to sneak through one of the regular spaces between the slats. This was an oversight on our part as we were too easily deceived into thinking that the prisoners fluffy body would be too wide for her to push through. Clearly she is cleverer than we thought. With this in our consideration, we have decided that we can no longer rely on the wooden fence to act as a suitable barricade for our ginger inmate. The outer perimeter has failed us.
Consequently we have had to rethink our containment strategy. Because the outer perimeter has failed us, we will have to use more wire fencing to block the prisoner off instead. However that requires buying more supplies and we are reluctant to do that. But do not worry, we do have a Plan B. And this evening, we deployed it.
What does Plan B consist of? Plan B involves shrinking the prisoner’s area. This may be drastic but it is a necessary move. We have pulled out our original stretch of wire fencing and formed an L shape across from the edge of the house to the fence between us and next door. To stop Splat from digging underneath, a line of bricks have been put between the wooden stakes. Between the bricks and the wire, we are confident Splat cannot escape the garden again. Your lives are safe once more.
We will keep you notified on any further development.
Mr Alex Best