Heading Into The Dark Ages…

It is a travesty! A travesty I tell you! What is the world coming to?! It’s despicable, deplorable, disgusting…any negative word you can think of that begins with D! I feel like I’m going to be sick.

Right, I’m going to take a deep breath and calm down.

Breathing in, breathing out…still not calm. Damn.

What’s the problem, I hear you ask. What’s the problem? What’s the problem?! I’ll tell you the problem!

We will be without internet into the new house until the 3rd of January! Over a month without the sweet information supply of the fantastic world-wide web. How will I survive? Have you ever heard of something so appalling? Oh the depravity! (there’s another one for you)

You are probably wondering through your own dry heaving, how has this happened? How is there no internet somewhere?

Well it turns out the phone line had been disconnected and the people selling the house to us didn’t know. How helpful. So we’ve got to sort that out before we can actually get the internet going. And the engineer can’t come in until January. Thankfully it’ll be done in one go but that is little consolation considering you know, that is a bloody month away!

Ah, what am I going to do? It’s depressing isn’t it? I don’t know if I can cope. I’ll regress back to a time where men lived in caves and hunted with spears. You’ll see me on the Durham moors, dressed as a wild man and chasing off sheep. In a matter of weeks I’ll have created a new legend that’ll be used to frighten children in the area for the next hundred years. ‘The Boy Without Internet Who Went Mad And Lived With Foxes’ it’ll be called, at least until they get a better title that is. It will be a nightmare.

But don’t despair; there might be a solution. Tomorrow we’re going to speak to some tech guys about getting an internet dongle thing. It won’t help me with my gaming but it should allow me to check my emails, blog, football results etc. We’ll just have to see if that’s possible.

Ugh. Dreadful (another one) news. If I’d been standing up I might have fainted.

Just got to hope we find a temporary solution until January. Otherwise those of you in the Durham region should probably stay in at night and lock your doors and windows when you go to bed. You know, if things don’t go well.

Right I suppose I’ll go do some packing now. My room is still looking rather full. I would do it just I can’t be bothered to get up and I feel I need to make most of the internet while we still have it. I’ve even started using the ‘I’m feeling lucky’ search on Google, such is my desperation to maximize these final days of complete internet access. It’s a sad sad time.

Wish me luck…