Time To Share The Crumpet Secret

Now, this probably won’t come as a surprise to most of you (and if it does, I can’t help but be concerned about your well-being), but I’ve been to America a couple of times in the last few years. Yeah, I know. Three times, in fact. Get me, eh?

Anyway, during my many forays to the States, I have found myself in the same kind of conversation (not a complaint; merely an observation), where I get asked something along the lines of; what are the differences between here (the US) and home?

Of course, there is a long list of things I could mention in response. I won’t bore you to tears by bullet pointing them all here (besides, I’ve probably already done that in the past), but one thing I do usually refer to is the food. Our bacon is better, they put cheese on everything, they don’t know what an acceptable portion size is…things like that. I’m sure you all have your own examples (even if you haven’t travelled, it isn’t hard to notice certain differences when  you watch American television shows/movies). Though both countries have many similarities, there’s plenty of things that we don’t have in common.

But that’s obvious, right? What’s my point?

Well, once I’ve exhausted all the food examples off the top of my head, I sometimes get a follow-up question. And as of yet, I have been unable to form a satisfying answer to said question, leaving both parties rather unsatisfied from the encounter.

What are crumpets?

I have eaten crumpets for years (that’s right, ladies), but I really struggle to answer this accurately. The best I’ve come up with is this;

“They’re like (English) muffins, but with holes…and they are fluffy and light…yet at the same time heavy and crunchy. Yeah…”

Not a fantastic answer, in all honesty. I don’t know what image it creates in your minds, but it’s probably wrong.

So, I vowed to myself (it must have been a very slow day) that, one day, I would find a way of describing the phenomena (phenomenon?) that is crumpets, and share that knowledge with those poor Americans who’ve yet to experience it for themselves. Because that is the kind of guy I am.

And, as it happens, I had crumpets this morning. And my camera wasn’t too far away. So I grabbed it, and took some pictures. After all, what better way to understand crumpets is there than through the help of photographic evidence (except for seeing them in persona, that is)?

So, here you are Americans. Crumpets. You’re welcome.

Solid base, slightly crunchy. Perfect.
Solid base, slightly crunchy. Perfect.
Look at that spongy inside
Look at that spongy inside


Not very artistic, but they get the job done. Is that your curiosity sated, people? Let me know.




Shrew update: The trap has not caught him yet. Still no sign of him since the first sighting. He’s hiding because he knows we are onto him. Don’t worry, we’ll get him. Mark my words…we’ll get him.

One thought on “Time To Share The Crumpet Secret”

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