Okay Minnesota, I’m starting to get tired with you. I could handle the bitter cold winds, the several feet of snow and the necessity of wearing two pairs of socks every day (even to bed sometimes), but I cannot handle all this false hope you keep giving me. Throughout March, you’ve went from minus temperatures and snow to sunny skies and “hey look, everything is melting! I can see green…well, brown!” only to then return with more snow and more minus temperatures. STOP IT! Every time we have a few nice days I get excited, start to think that maybe Vanna and I can go for a walk, or maybe I can get my bike out the garage and do a few miles along the Breezy Point road. But of course the weather decides to renege on the deal, and I’m left disappointed again.
This week is a perfect example of unpredictability. It was beautiful yesterday (a bit windy, but by Jove, it was almost a warm wind), and the day before that. It’s supposed to get over 50 degrees this weekend, whatever that means (I think it is good). So Vanna and I made plans to do something today; perhaps explore Pequot (though we checked out all the shops in Nisswa last summer, we’ve yet to give Pequot the same treatment) or downtown Brainerd. You know, walk around and see what is about. Vanna and I were looking forward to doing that. But then, when I woke up this morning, I was greeted with this:
So, Minnesota, I’m beginning to fall out with you. In future, have two, even three months of awful winter, get it out of your system…then let Spring take over. No more snow, no more arctic winds. Stop the three days nice, three days bad nonsense. It isn’t funny. And if you continue to toy with me? I’ll move to a warmer state where this doesn’t happen. And who will blog about you then, eh? Exactly. So, uh, buck your ideas up, Minnesota.
Though it is considered unlucky for some, this Friday the 13th brought only good news to our family, as my dad, at the ripe old age of 53, officially retired today. After thirty seven long hard years, he has decided to finish with the daily grind, and will now spend his time doing…well, not a lot to be honest. It’ll be a mostly uneventful schedule of working on his jigsaws, Xboxing (yes, he has an Xbox too; earlier this week, we spent five hours together on Fifa, which was a surprise to both of us), doing stuff in the garden (if the weather is nice), walking into Durham (again, weather permitting), spending time with Sue (who is now semi-retired) and talking to Splat. You know, the usual pensioner (heheheh) stuff.
But, he’s deserved that privilege, and I’m very happy for him. And to celebrate, I treated him and Sue to coffee and doughnuts at the Krispy Kreme in Durham. Well, I just bought them a coffee, as neither of them wanted a doughnut (I had one though; raspberry glazed, very delicious), but I did offer, and I think that counts. And though it was a bit miserable weather wise (the sunny days are over now…), we had a good walk afterwards too (had to burn off that doughnut, didn’t I?).
That isn’t, however, the only good news, as tomorrow my dad and Sue are driving up to the Isle of Skye for a week’s holiday! They haven’t had a ‘proper’ holiday for over two years, so understandably they are very excited to get away (they don’t get to go to America every year for three months like some people…ahem). Hopefully they’ll have a wonderful time together, and not let any potential bad weather (it is Scotland, after all; even in the summer, you’re likely to see rain) affect their plans. Regardless of whether they get to leave the cottage or not, it’ll be a much welcome break for them…so yeah, very pleased about that.
What about yours truly? Well, I’m going to stay here and look after the house for a week. Oh, and Splat.
What’s that? You can’t believe they’ve trusted me to look after another living thing?
Well, that’s not a very nice thing to say. What are you trying to say? Do I not look capable?
I’m more competent than you will ever be!
And what am I going to live off when there is nobody to cook for me? Sandwiches and crisps?
Hey, I’ll have you know that I’m perfectly capable of making myself some proper food. I can function fine in the kitchen, thank you very much. Can open tins and everything, so don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. I’ve got it all covered. Neither Splat nor myself will starve.
Well, I’ve had a good five weeks, I suppose. It couldn’t last forever.
It rained most of yesterday, and it go so bad I decided I had to bring my bike inside. I haven’t cycled the poor thing for over a week now due to bad weather and other commitments (not having anywhere to go hasn’t really helped the cause either)…I don’t think that is going to change anytime soon. Forecasts of rain storms and humidity. Wahey!
It’s okay, you’re safe now.
At least it’s looking very green outside. The flowers and trees are finally showing life, so I’ll get out there with my camera at some point. You know, when it isn’t raining and I can be bothered.
So, what have I been doing with all my time?
Well on Tuesday, I managed to write over 3000 words of my book in around 4 hours. Very pleased with that. Backfired somewhat on Wednesday though, as doing the full chapter in one sitting (which was definitely not expected) meant I wasn’t really sure to go next. I had planned on making some mind maps (proper ones this time) with Vanna to work out that answer, but that backfired when she was late back from work. So instead, I uh…played Dragon Age 2 (the first one is region locked; can you believe it?) for hours and hours.
I’ve enjoyed it so far (there were some flaws to DA2…quite a few actually, but it was still a good game) but our TV is not built for RPG’s. Or anything that requires reading. I’m trying to create my character, work out what abilities I want her (you heard me) to have, work out what I need in order to use the armor I’ve carried around (I’m still in the original clothes…not good), find out what missions I have to do and learn about some of the in-game history…and I’m really struggling to do it.
Why is it so hard to do, well, pretty much everything?
Because, ladies and gentlemen, this is our television. It does not like words!
I hate you.
*sigh*
Somebody buy us a better one, please? Or sell us one, but for a low price? Thank you!
Apologies for not blogging yesterday. There were a few things that were on my mind, and I knew that if I did blog, I’d end up ranting and coming off as a bitter, angry individual. And that isn’t good, so I thought I’d step back, maintain my cool persona (what? I’m cool…right?) and then return when I was in a better mood, and less likely to ugh, rage at the injustices of the world.
So, here I am. It is nearly the end of my second week in Minnesota, and well, it has been a strange one.
Firstly, the weather has been all over the place. Last week it had started to improve (if you recall, it was snowing when I arrived), and we actually had some sun and heat, which was a nice change. But that lasted as long as…Monday, and since then we’ve had storm clouds (Tuesday), rain (Friday, today) and –this is the best bit– cold, blustery winds that go right through you (Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and probably this weekend too). As a result, I’ve not been able to cycle that much because well, I’m a fair weather rider. If it’s nasty, I ain’t going out. I don’t value exercise that much. Pfft. Who do you think I am?
Having said that, I did go out yesterday for a bike ride. Because I hadn’t exercised since Monday, I decided not to attempt the Pequot route and instead went in the opposite direction, to Nisswa.
Nisswa is a lovely little town that Vanna describes as ‘ritzy’ (it is a lot more expensive than Crosby, for example…though that doesn’t take much), and though I liked cycling through it, the folks who make the decisions in Nisswa (I’d say the local council but I think that is just an English thing…and local councils are too busy doing nothing to do anything productive…) clearly need to stop spending all their money trying to make the place an even bigger tourist attraction and focus on sorting out the roads, because they are bloody awful.
If I wasn’t wincing from the ride discomfort (as most of you are probably aware, cycling isn’t the most comfortable activity in the first place, but riding on these roads? Well that was something else), I was holding my breath and hoping not to die as another car zoomed past, missed me by centimeters. You see, the hard shoulder is all gravel and sand, meaning I have to ride on the road and risk death.
How fantastic is that? The road to Breezy is lovely because I have about five feet of tarmac all to myself. And there are “Share the road” signs everywhere, so I know I’m welcome. Trying to get to Nisswa was the complete opposite. Not fun. And it’s a shame, because the route is quite pleasant otherwise. Nice views, flat terrain…you can complete 11 miles without too much of a struggle. Well, you could, if you know, you weren’t bouncing around the place and crying. Don’t think I’ll be trying that one again in a hurry.
So yeah, as I was saying prior to that cycling anecdote (hey, nobody said anecdotes had to be good), the weather has been a definite hindrance to our plans. Another problem has been Vanna’s health, as the poor lamb has been suffering from a cold/cough/throat infection since last weekend. She’s been taking medication for it all week, but it is only now starting to clear up. She’s been wanting to go out on a few bike rides with me, but it’s kinda hard to do that when you can’t breathe that well. Hopefully both Vanna and the weather will pick up and we might get to do some of the exploring that we’ve been planning since my arrival.
What else have we done?
Well, I accompanied Vanna to work on Wednesday and helped her out there with her clients, because, well, I’m just that good (generous, kind…these are not words Vanna used afterwards). And on Thursday, Vanna and I spent the day in Brainerd helping Vanna’s dad get his truck. We were out there for hours, which wouldn’t have been a bad thing were it not for the fact I made probably the worst clothing decision of my life. I optimistically went for t-shirt and shorts, thinking it was going to be a nice day. HA! Sure it was sunny…but it was also freezing cold. As soon as I got out the car, I was shivering.
Consequently, I was pretty miserable for most of the trip. But things improved when we went to see Becky (Vanna’s friend’s mother) for tea. We had tacos and homemade shortcake. It was delicious and not too unhealthy. And then, just as we were about to head home, two deer wandered into the back garden. Unfortunately my camera was in the car (getting it would disturb the deer), but Becky (Vanna’s friend’s mother…keep up) took lots of pictures on her fancy camera, so once she’s edited them, I’ll ask to use some of them for the blog.
Hmm. And that’s the week so far. Today we’re going back to Meg’s (the friend I mentioned in the previous paragraph…I didn’t use her name then because she wasn’t there and I didn’t want to confuse you) to see her before she heads off to Germany for two weeks. Vanna hasn’t seen Meg since…a while (I asked Vanna how long, and that is the answer I got), so it’ll be good to catch up before they say goodbye again. Also, we want to use their bathroom facilities because our water is off again because, again, there are problems with the plumbing. Urgh. It is getting rather tiresome now.
Right, I best head off. Vanna is getting antsy and I can sense that I’m pushing my luck.
Bye for now,
Alex
See, my short break was worthwhile. I didn’t complain at all up there, did I?
Anyway, as my wonderful poetry was treated with such indifference I almost cried (not really, but I did have my lowest views for that week yesterday), today I have decided to go back to my usual routine of complaining about the weather. Oh yes. And you only have yourselves to blame.
So. Snow. While you in other countries have to face monsoons, high winds, hurricanes, tornadoes, severe hailstorms, swarms of giant, angry grasshoppers and uh, floods (delete as applicable), we have had to deal with, like, a weeks worth of snow. You lot don’t know how lucky you’ve been. ”Oh no, the grasshoppers ate my dog right in front of my eyes!” Pfft. That’s nothing. In some places in the UK where the snow goes over your shoes! You know what that means…wet socks!
I bet you feel really stupid for complaining now, don’t you? But hey, it’s okay. Don’t beat yourself up too much about it. I forgive you, I forgive you. Honest. You didn’t know. Just promise to think on in future, okay? That way we can avoid this kind of situation. Oh, and watch out. Those grasshoppers are eyeing up your cat.
In all seriousness, the snow is becoming a bit of a nuisance for the working world. As somebody who has nowhere to go at the moment, I can appreciate the weather without resorting to swearing. I’m just glad it didn’t mess up my plans last week. Three times I had to go to Newcastle, and each day I went, I saw the snow get progressively deeper. Thankfully I didn’t have to rely on buses. I’d still be at the station…
This was my view on Saturday.
Anyway, as it is obligatory when there is more than a cm of snow in this country, I do have pictures for you all. And much like the people who have cluttered up my Facebook feed simply because they have a camera phone an internet connection and plenty of time on their hands, I took the pictures from inside the house (I’m not going out there! I’m not mad. It’s cold!). But unlike them, I had the foresight to crop out the window first. Huge rule in photography folks: people don’t like to see windowsills or locks. Even I know that. Shame on you.
So, here’s the view from my window, and the back garden. Be amazed.
I did actually go out. See that clear part of the drive? I did that. With my BARE HANDS*
You can’t tell I took the picture a window can you? Nailed it.
Isn’t it mind-blowing? Told you we Britons had it worse than the rest of the world. I was going to send Splat out to test it, but she seemed less than keen on that idea. I wonder what made me think that…
She doesn’t look too mad…Yeah, she isn’t impressed.
We’ll have to see how bad it gets from here. Granted, it must seem like that is impossible given these awful conditions, but more snow is indeed forecast. There will be polar bears roaming around by Thursday at this rate!
Now now, don’t cry. That was a joke. There won’t be polar bears by Thursday. When you consider the distance they’ll have to go as they’d first need to go through Europe and then across the channel…I imagine it would take the bears until Saturday to get here.
Ha. I’ll keep you posted if things get apocalyptic over here. Or if I see a bear or something.
Oh, and I should probably tell you the bad news before I finish. While you were holding your cat in a death grip, the grasshoppers used that as a distraction to ambush your grandmother. Yeah, they are crafty like that. She’s gone now. Sorry for your loss.
*Okay, I had gloves on. And okay, I used a shovel. But other than that, it was with my bare hands…
My knowledge of current events is so amazingly good it is beyond the abilities of mere mortals like yourself to even figure it out. That is 100% factual. It is no boast. Don’t even attempt to scratch the surface of my intellect because your brain will no doubt explode as a result.
Okay, that’s an exaggeration. Your brain won’t explode if you try to understand my level. You’d probably suffer an aneurysm though so don’t risk it. Just accept that I’m not lying and I am in fact, fantastic at keeping up-to-date with the latest news. Please don’t question it. Please.
Anyway, it would be safe to say that nothing gets past me due to my ability to know everything that is happening in the world. Nothing whatsoever can escape my attention. I’m like Sauron (this will be funny in five minutes); I see everything.
And no, don’t test me by asking what your cat is doing right at this moment. I refuse to take part in such trivial games. It’s a waste of my time, your time and the cat’s time. Let’s just stop this to and fro-ing, shall we? Accept that I know everything and please, put the cat down. Mr Tibbs is clearly in distress and I’m tempted to report you. Final warning, okay?
So, where was I? Right, bearing my super knowledge in mind (but not too much: aneurysm), it hasn’t escaped my attention that there is a new film phenomenon out there at the moment called The Hobbit. You, with your ignorance of most things cultural, probably have no idea what I’m talking about. But don’t worry your silly little heads, I’ll explain. The Hobbit is a Peter Jackson film which is currently showing at all cinemas worthy of their name, and is based on a book with the same title by J.R.R Tolkien. He also created the Lord Of The Rings Trilogy (I bet you’re all chuckling at that Sauron joke now aren’t you?), the sequel(s) to The Hobbitthat Jackson also transformed into film around the turn of the century. There was three films (because it’s a trilogy) and they were very popular. You may have heard of them. You might have even watched them, or perhaps, if you were so inclined, read them! Either way, good on you. There are no prizes but hey, you give yourself a pat on the back.
Other than impressing you, what’s the point to this long-winded introduction?
Well, there wasn’t one, in all honesty. Essentially I went on my own little adventure today and thought I’d tie my walk to the shops in with the blockbuster film that everyone is talking about as a way of making it sound more interesting without having to put any real effort into my blog post. It was either this or write out my adventure in fantasy speak and that sounded too hard. I’d have to think of characters and set it out like a story…nah, too much effort. So I did this instead.
But despite this slow build up, I bet you are still intrigued by what happened to me today (hey, if the title didn’t put you off then talking about The Hobbit or insulting your intelligence probably didn’t either). After all, it must be something interesting otherwise I wouldn’t write about it on the blog* now would I? I’d keep quiet and instead post pictures of Splat or get Vanna to post pictures of her animals instead (I was sadly proven right with my statement on Tuesday wasn’t I? Puppy over presents, it seems). So what did happen?, I hear you ask. Well gather round, and I’ll tell you.
…you’ve gathered? Oh. All right then.
Any decent story involves some form of tragedy. And mine is no different. But while some hold out until the end, or surprise you with it in the middle, my personal tragedy is at the beginning. Even earlier, in fact, because it happened yesterday.
We…we lost the internet.
I know. I know. Dreadful isn’t it? I nearly gave up there and then. One minute I was happily cruising the world-wide web, minding my own business, then the next I was stuck on a screen telling me I’d used up the 5GB allowance. It wouldn’t let me buy more or anything. The only solution offered to me was wait until next month but by then it would be too late. You can’t even begin to understand my distress. It was a nightmare. What would I do in the many hours I have available? Read? Write? Tidy my room? Like I said, it was anightmare.
But desperate times call for desperate measures, so today I braved the unknown (well not that unknown…I’ve been there before) and ventured out to the retail park across from our estate in the hope I could throw money at the problem. A difficult adventure to begin with (I have to like, walk at least a mile), things were made worse when I woke up, looked outside and saw that it was…raining. Suddenly the stakes were raised. Not only was it drizzling slightly, there were puddles already forming on the ground! But I couldn’t let that stop me.
So I grabbed my best gear and headed out into the wilderness of the housing estate. The cold breeze, along with the rain and those menacing puddles, made progress difficult. I had to stop at least twice to adjust my hat. But I continued onwards, crossing dangerous roads that could have had cars on but didn’t, until I reached the main road. The first part of the journey was complete but I had no time to celebrate. I had to keep moving. My eyes explored the path ahead, and my heart sank as I realized that my worst fears had come true.
The puddle had…it had covered the width of the path. I’d have to walk through it if I wanted to finish my journey. But turning back wasn’t an option, so I hitched up my pants and pushed onwards. The splashing was intense and at one point I could begin to feel the water between my toes. It was horrific but I ignored the pain, knowing it would be over soon.
And less than a minute later, it was. Then after another stretch of path (this time it was dry) I was finally at the PC Store. With a sigh of relief I took my hat off and stepped inside. There were plenty of salesmen about…no doubt I’ll be assisted in my quest for a new internet dongle.
Or not, because not one of them paid me any attention whatsoever. Eventually I walked over to one guy and he pointed in me the right direction…then walked away. Oh. Thanks for that.
So there I was, the end in sight but just out of reach. Was I destined to fail? To come so far, only to fall at the final hurdle with the prize so close to my outstretched hand?
No, I refused to give in. I went to the other computer store which was, rather conveniently, next door. And this time, a guy actually helped me out. Five minutes later and I’d bought internet! (this moment was the modern-day equivalent of man discovering fire). All I had to do was return home and my journey was complete!
And, as you have probably realized by the fact I’m blogging, I managed to get home without incident. The dongle works, and all is right again with the world.
Yes, I could have waited two hours and got a lift instead of walking in the rain. And yes, 24 hours without internet is hardly a big deal. But shut up.
*Ha, you credit me with too much integrity: I’d talk about flooring if I felt I could get away with it.
I’ve been home for less than a week and I’m already getting annoyed at things. I’ve not left the house and I’ve spent most of my time in my bedroom or on the living room sofa, but still, I’m already annoyed. What is bothering me? Let me tell you…
The Dog Next Door
While I was in the States, the dog behind our house would not stop barking. Ever. Whenever somebody talks, walks, or even coughs, in the vicinity of Bear (appropriate name), Bear would start barking. For the entire three months I was there I don’t think a single day went by without him barking at something (or probably nothing). Sometimes there wouldn’t be anyone there. He’d just bark. Incessantly. At all hours.
According to Vanna, Bear never used to be this way. He was a nice little puppy, but he was put in a cage (which he has never ever ever left since) and got angry at the world. It is appalling, and Vanna’s family have rang the authorities several times, to see if they could help this situation. Unfortunately nothing has been done and Bear continues to annoy the neighbourhood every night. And my sleep was repeatedly interrupted, so obviously I wasn’t impressed.
At home though, I don’t have this issue. I’m not saying I live in a quiet area, but the double glazing we have does a great job of silencing the cars etc. It’s relatively peaceful, you know?
Until I came back. Our next door neighbour has a dog. Apparently he had it (don’t know the gender) before I left but I’d never seen or heard any sign of it. I was blissfully ignorant. Not any more.
For the past few days that damned dog has barked, barking, barking for hours. Not as loud or irritating as Bear, but still an annoying background noise to the day. The reason behind this sudden increase in dog related noise is because they are doing home improvements and the dog is outside all the time. When it’s indoors, we can’t hear it. When it’s outside we aren’t so lucky. Smashing.
So please, Mr whatever your name is next door, please give your dog a toy or something, anything, that will entertain it. Please. It’s ruining my afternoon doze.
Olympics
Can the Olympics not be finished now? Although I was happy that we hosted it (and more importantly did a good job both in hosting and in the medal table) I feel it’s time to hush up about it. I’m already sick of all the stories about athletes on the regional news. Where are the usual stories about school children answering stupid questions or pictures of dogs in action poses? I hate them too, but I’ve grown familiar with them. Can we not go back to those days again?
Obviously it’s going to go on for a while longer as London has the Paralympics now. And I’m not going to say that the Paralympics shouldn’t be on television because hey, they are just as impressive and inspirational as the Olympic athletes. It’s just that I’m bored of athletics in general and I want to focus on the important stuff again. Like the football.
Today for example, there has been several stories on the Paralympic flame. We’ve already had hours of football of the Olympic torch, so the Paralympic equivalent seems somewhat unnecessary, especially when you see the coverage. Reporters will ask the same stupid questions and get the same obvious answers. “How does it feel to hold the flame?” they will ask. There will only be one answer to this. Amazing, or a synonym of amazing, words like “it’s a one in a lifetime opportunity” and possibly a tribute to somebody they know.
It seems even worse when you look at what the torch bearers are holding as they pass through the North East. We don’t get the proper Paralympic torch you see. Oh no. We get little lamps, ‘splinters’ of the actual flame. You can barely see them when they parade through the street. What’s the point?
Another thing that bothers me is that the Paralympics and Olympics should be considered equal, right? There should be no discrimination towards the Paralympics because those athletes have arguably endured a lot more to get to where they are (except for that infamous Spanish basketball team that is). Yet look at the Paralympics logo…
And in case you forgot, here is the Olympic logo.
Is it just me who sees something wrong here? Please, somebody, tell me it’s not just me. Writing about myself
I think this is something everybody probably understands. Who likes talking about themselves, and how good they are? If any of you do, be quiet, you’re not invited to this conversation. For all those who find it one of the worst chores in the world…well I feel your pain.
At the moment I’m writing covering letters for job applications, meaning I have to do my very best to big up my abilities. But because I need a job, it is something I have to do. The amount of times I’ve written ‘well organised’, ‘quick to adapt’ and ‘responsible’ (to list a few) the past few days is depressing. I feel like a broken record. I have sent away for four different jobs though, which is a start.
Fingers crossed I will get a reply soon. With Vanna on the way I’ll need something quick!
Bad Weather
Self explanatory isn’t it? I’m back in Britain after all.
Reason one is that I didn’t do much at all yesterday. We were too lazy for another bike ride and we didn’t really have an excuse (or a vehicle) to go anywhere else. I was supposed to get my hair cut but I didn’t, so it’s still looking a bit untidy. I got plenty of writing done though, so the day wasn’t wasted. Just there isn’t much to talk about.
The second reason is that today is looking bloody awful. I woke up in the middle of the night to the sounds of thunder. Lightening too. And some heavy rain for good measure. It has eased off since then but I don’t think it’s going to be a nice day at all. Maybe it’ll surprise me but I doubt it. That stops us from making any nice plans for today.
But I’ve already got plans so the weather is irrelevant anyway. What am I doing? Well that’s reason three. Today is England’s second group match at the Euros 2012 (I think, turns out it’s tomorrow but football’s football) and I plan to watch that at Calistas once again. Hopefully this time it won’t be a bore draw. I missed a 3-2 yesterday, which by all counts, sounded like a pretty good match. Bendtner scored twice. That’s practically a miracle.
However the game is not the biggest thing. I’m bringing my games over (I brought some across from the UK, okay?) to do some gaming this afternoon too. It might not be on my profile or with my friends back home but still, gaming is gaming. I’m excited for this. We’ll see how that goes.
Another thing I’ve been craving just started last night. Vanna and I went over to her friend Ashley’s to watch the very first episodes of LOST. They are all obsessed with the show but I must admit it’s never really caught my attention. I remember my dad tried to watch it but gave up because the time it was on kept changing. But if the plot was up to it, he’d have persisted right? So I dismissed it and never looked back.
Well I was wrong. At the moment anyway, as we’ve only just watched the first two pilots. But it is starting to reel me in. I just want to know what’s going to happen. I don’t even like the characters that much. You’ve got the Adam Sandler lookalike, the stilted lady, the weasel, the racist, the Australian, the tech guy, the Asian couple, the brother and sister and then there’s the fat guy. None of them really appeal to me yet I remember all of them. Hmm.
I’m not converted yet though, but maybe after the first series I might be…I’ll let you know how it goes.
For now this is the end. I’m off to game. And possibly watch the football. And possibly get electrocuted when I’m travelling between home and Calista’s. But if you thought a thunderstorm would stop me from going out, you were very much mistaken.
Nothing will stop me when there’s an Xbox out there. Nothing I tell you…
This weekend just gone was Memorial weekend. Although it’s strictly an American holiday, it’s really something we can all understand. The aim of it is to remember soldiers who’ve fought in previous wars and those who are still fighting today. That doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy yourself though, as people use the three-day weekend as an opportunity to have a little fun. Crosby is often the place for such celebrations as people from the city come up to relax, drink and get away from it all. Despite the meaning perhaps becoming lost in the alcohol, I support this holiday.
And that concludes my thoughts on Memorial Day. Because I’m going to talk about the weather again.
Now I know I’ve spoken plenty about the weather before. I do feel that I’m justified to do so for two reasons.
Firstly, it’s disrupting my plans. The fact I had to rearrange the 90 days that I’m in the US by going home a week earlier had already cost me the chance to go to the State Fair. I don’t need my first week to be blighted by heavy storms too. With hindsight I’d have planned my trip from the end of May to the end of August, which would have work out so much better. But I don’t have that option so I need to make the most of my trip. And I can’t because the damned weather won’t let me.
The other reason for my constant grumbling is because this is the most bizarre weather I’ve ever encountered. Even the Minnesotans (or Crosbyites) are finding this a little unusual. It’s so bad that, rather than talk about the worst ever film I’ve seen in my entire life or indeed what I did this weekend (granted, not much) I’m feeling the need to complain about this damned rain.
I’ll start with Monday. It was all over the place. I woke up and it was really sunny. I was desperate to go for a walk but because Vanna’s sister arrived just as I was about to go out, I ended up staying back instead. And I was very thankful of her intervention when it began pouring it down. Heavy rain, peals of thunder…there was even hail, which looked like no hail I’d ever seen before. It was so thick my girlfriend had to stop the car because you couldn’t see a thing.
Then, suddenly, it was sunny again. Except for the large puddles dotted all over the place, you wouldn’t have known it had rained in the first place. I went for my walk and I was sweating because it was that hot. But once I got back, it started to storm again. Then it was sunny, yet raining.
What the hell is going on? I’m sure there are Americans reading this thinking ‘that’s nothing’ but for somebody who rarely gets anything other than a bit of rain, bit of sun or a bit of cloud, this is blowing my mind.
This just doesn’t happen back home
Sunday night was even worse.
Except for looking a bit iffy in the morning, Sunday was a pretty nice day. But it was humid, so you could sense that there was a storm approaching. Vanna’s friend Sharissa had brought us some old 90’s films on video tape a few days ago, so while Vanna was at work we decided to watch ‘The Ninth Gate’. We’d never heard of it before, but it had Johnny Depp in and usually his films are decent, so we felt we were safe with it. There would be no repeat of ‘Wild Orchid’, which is so unbelievably bad I don’t think I could sum up its awfulness in an entire blog post, never mind a single paragraph.
And that’s not including Mickey Rourke
But I digress.
While we were watching the non Wild Orchid film, there was a thunderstorm in the county south of us. I’d like to give you the distance between them and us but my girlfriend doesn’t know. The town it was in is called peas. That’s all I got.
Anyway, had we looked outside, we’d have seen the lightning flashes on the skyline. Because the land is so flat, you can see the storm from miles away. Although this isn’t particularly amazing, it’s something I really enjoy seeing. At home it’s very rare to see a thunderstorm because the climate isn’t really suitable for them in the North East of England. And when we do get one, we only see it briefly before it disappears behind the hills. If it sticks around for half an hour we’ve done well.
This storm, however, was a little different to what we’ve been having of late. The most significant change was how the lightning kept striking almost every second. Even for Minnesota, this is unusual. Vanna, who was on her back by this point, could see the storm flashing all around her, despite the fact it was nowhere near her. But it was coming. Warnings were being broadcasted over the radio telling us to get to shelter. So she called us, relaying the news.
Now I’m not used to this kind of business. The worst tornado our country has had in recent years managed to destroy some roof tiles. There was no snow this past winter. I’m not ready for a serious man to declare that we should go into a room without windows. It was dark, it was cold and we’d just finished watching a satanic film. And while we rushed around the house closing windows, all we could see was the flashes on the horizon.
The result? It would be fair to say I was a bit on the jumpy side. By the time Vanna got home, we were warned it was only going to get worse.
With the lightning getting closer, announcements over the radio insisted on getting to safety. The wind accompanying the storm was reaching destructive speeds of over 70 mph and the entire county was on alert. By 10:30pm it would hit Garrison, a town about 20 miles south of us.
So we waited. Minnesota usually gets storms, heavy snow and the odd tornado, but it’s not often they get something on this magnitude. And we had nowhere to go. The basement was flooded from all the rain from this last week so we were reluctant to move from the living room. There are spiders down there!
But if it got any closer, we’d have to. Although it’s a nice house, I don’t trust it to survive under intense scrutiny. They aren’t sturdy brick buildings here, they are made of plastic and wood. Probably glued together. Would that last in 70 mph winds? I didn’t fancy our chances.
Already we could still feel the wind buffeting against the walls. The thunder started to echo around us and the rain was coming on strong. The lightning was getting brighter too. We were quite conversational but you could tell there was a nervous edge in our voices. Or at least there was with me. I miss England’s nondescript weather!
This was our winter!
When it started to fade, we were then shocked into submission by the loudest crack of thunder I’ve ever heard in my life. It felt like it was just above us. It was then followed by a huge flash of lightning and then another thunder-clap. It was bloody scary. Normally you can count the time between each strike to work out how far away the storm is, but because the lightning was so frequent you didn’t know where to begin.
Questions started to run through my head. Would the storm hit us hard? Would things get much worse? Would we survive? Would the house survive? Would we have to face the rising water and spiders in the basement?
Argh!
Well the storm tailed off before it reached us. Sharissa went home and we went to sleep. We and the house were safe.
Survivors: the smiles hide the mental trauma
I guess that is something of an anticlimactic ending when you consider how I’ve built up this storm up over the last few paragraphs. You were expecting us to lose a car or the house to go flying down the street, right? Well that didn’t happen.
But that doesn’t mean I’ll forget about the whole incident in a hurry. I thought things had been bad last time I was here; I didn’t anticipate Mother Nature to step it up a notch. It wasn’t a walk in the park. I’m just glad we didn’t have to go to the basement.
Thankfully the forecast for the rest of the week is for clear skies, with the worst of the storms already over.
Hopefully that’s the case. I don’t think I can deal with this any more. My heart can’t take it.
I’ve decided that the best way to discuss my ongoing Minnesota adventure (as I continue to call it, despite my girlfriend’s annoyance at the term) is to report on the important, or slightly less trivial than everything else, events that have happened during my day. So I’ll write this on the night then publish it the next morning.
Got that? Good.
To start with, I’m going to bemoan my bad luck. If you recall, my first proper day in Crosby was going to be a relaxing one. It was all about adjusting to my new surroundings by having a nice walk around the place. You may also remember that the night before consisted of an intensive lightning storm. If your memory is like a sieve (or you just didn’t read it) here is a reminder.
Anyway, the weather had looked a bit more promising when we woke up that morning. We decided to go to the library so I could update my blog and see if anybody cared enough about me leaving to send me messages (they had). I even took a picture as we started walking to show that the weather wasn’t too bad. It was cool but dry. Looks pretty decent doesn’t it?
Well you’d be wrong.
Shortly after we settled ourselves in at the library, the heavens opened with the sound of thunder. We had heavy rain, lightning…the lot. Thankfully we had a lift home but in the short walk between the door and the car we ended up soaked. It was very reminiscent of my holiday here last June. Just it was worse this time because a) I was caught up in it and b) the rain was bloody freezing.
Last year…This year…
Thanks to the weather and my decision not to bring any waterproof clothing, I was unable to take my afternoon walk. Instead we ended up in the house all day, which wasn’t too intolerable but still not an ideal situation. If I wanted to sit on the sofa all day, I’d have stayed at home. At least then I’d have an Xbox and satellite television. I should state that I happy to be here, just I find it typical that I come to the USA expecting lovely weather and in reality I’d be better off at home.
The forecast for the rest of the week doesn’t look great either, with more storms and more rain predicted. There was even a flood warning. It’s a shame my dad isn’t here as he would relish the opportunity to drive through flooded roads (ie large puddles) in his 4×4. Come to Minnesota, you’ll get that wish.
That doesn’t mean, however, everything is going against us.
When I was a lot younger, one of my greatest loves was Tintin, the reporter/explorer. I would always take out the books from the library when they were available and read them at home. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve read them.
I’m hoping you all know who Tintin is. Peter Jackson and Steven Spielberg are fans of the series and they brought out his first box office film not too long ago. And as soon as I heard about it, the nostalgic part of me jumped up, eager to read the books once again. But they are tricky to find. Buying them new isn’t cheap so I’d forgotten about the idea when I came across a load of them at a second-hand bookstore. Didn’t stop me buying them all though.
There was still a slight problem. Although the books are not intrinsically linked to each other, it does help to read them in order. And I was missing the first couple. Most people would read on regardless, but I’m not most people. I decided to wait until I’d purchased the rest of the series before I started reading them. Consequently they were left to gather dust under my bed.
Knowing about my Tintin issues, my step mother kindly bought me the DVD Collection (It was a T.V show) and the films. I started watching the episodes, only to realize that they deviated quite a bit from the books. Although they were enjoyable, this meant they couldn’t really be used to fill in the missing pieces in my collection. I have brought all the DVD’s to watch while I’m over here though (I feel Vanna needs to be versed in Tintin lore) but my books remain unread at home.
‘What’s the point of telling us this?’ I hear you ask.
Well you should know about Tintin. The books are for all ages and providing you ignore the odd racial stereotype, they can be quite inspirational. He’s just a normal guy who solves mysteries. You can learn from him. There are no gimmicks, just him, his dog and a cursing bearded man. Even the music from it is amazing.
But the best thing happened yesterday. When we were at the library, my girlfriend was browsing the aisles and spotted the word ‘Tintin’.
Crosby Library has all of his adventures, just sitting there. Published in hardback omnibuses. Ah yeah.
Volume one is currently unavailable but once it has been returned we’ll be notified. So, providing everything goes well of course, I’ll be able to read Tintin’s adventures (none in Minnesota though) from the very beginning to the very end in the three months I’m here. When you consider the 10 hours I have of Tintin on film in addition to the books, I’ll probably get sick of the little Belgian and his fluffy white dog by the time I’ve returned home. But at least I’ll finally be able to go through the series in every way possible (book, TV and film). I was so happy at this revelation I felt the need to share it with you all, even if you didn’t want me to.
I’ll be joining the fan club next.
It’s still raining today though. What a load of rubbish.
writingonthecitadel 